Being civil to each other is a fairly simple
principle and as a child in nappies one learns to say please, thank you,
excuse me, after you, good morning and good night. Even the basic
civilities are often neglected nowadays and my clearly enunciated and cheerful Good
Morning! to passers-by is commonly answered with a nervous, suspicious
grunt or by an eye-rolling silence. This is especially true of crowded Europe
where people resent any unsolicited intrusion into their personal space bubble
-Americans seem more tolerant and receptive.
Of course, Civility is more than good manners;
it is the creation of mutual respect and mutual esteem amid an atmosphere of
friendliness. Its qualities are exemplified by those of Chaucer’s Truly Perfect,
Gentle Knight. A striking actual historic example comes from Boswell when
he engineered, on 15 May, 1776, a social dinner-party at the publisher Dilly
involving a meeting between cantankerous High Tory Dr Samuel Johnson and
disreputable Radical John Wilkes, attended by a dozen others.
Dr Samuel Johnson
Johnson had not been forewarned and was much
put out by the presence of demonised Wilkes and initially skulked in a corner.
Persuaded to join the company, Wilkes was solicitous for Johnson’s comforts and
carved him some veal to eat. Johnson was flattered by this attention and they
soon got into a typical Johnsonian conversation. Someone complained that the
best of old England is lost, which goaded Johnson into saying: Sir, it is
not so much to be lamented that old England is lost, as that the Scotch have
found it. Inevitably, Johnson twitted Boswell good-naturedly about how
barren was Scotland. Wilkes, a notorious rake, remarked ironically to Johnson
that Boswell was probably wild except when he is with grave, sober, decent
people like you and me. Johnson and Wilkes then discussed, as educated 18th
century people would, the merits of ancient writers and the state of
contemporary poetry and literature. Boswell was delighted that the occasion had
gone well and Johnson admitted he had spent An agreeable day.
This Civility between political opponents
derived from the bond of a shared love of classical learning, of modern
literature and an ability to converse with wit, humour and ready repartee
without any animosity. There are many lessons for us – Nicola Sturgeon in her
resignation statement today talks of how polarised opinions have become and of
the “brutality” of political debate, with personality analysis over-coming
rational consideration of the issues. There is another more civil way.
Mind you, there is a species of faux-civility,
or polite disparagement, often dispensed by statesmen of various hues. Thus the
young F E Smith, later Lord Chancellor Birkenhead, clashed as a barrister with
several judges:-
Judge: Mr Smith, have you ever heard
of a saying by Bacon—the great Bacon—that youth and discretion are ill-wed
companions?
Smith: Indeed I have, your Honour; and has your Honour ever heard of a
saying by Bacon—the great Bacon—that a much talking Judge is like an ill-tuned
cymbal?
Judge: You
are extremely offensive, young man!
Smith: As a matter of fact we both are; and the only difference between
us is that I am trying to be, and you can't help it.
Judge: What
do you suppose I am on the bench for?
Smith: It is not for me, Your Honour, to attempt to fathom the
inscrutable workings of Providence
Birkenhead by Spy
Churchill himself was not
above some polite disparagement. Famously, he mocked a timid Ramsay Macdonald
in 1931 recalling that he (Churchill) had been protected by his mother from
seeing a fairground freak as a child. I have waited 50 years to see The
Boneless Wonder sitting upon the Treasury Bench.
To conduct oneself with Olympian
Civility is a high bar to achieve. I have no patience with citizens who talk
down their own country, immigrants who criminally abuse its hospitality or
media who trade in doom-mongering. Politeness and patriotism are red lines for
me. But I acknowledge that our society is far from perfect, that we must always
be inclusive, open-minded and democratic;
This above all; to thine
ownself be true,
And it must follow as the night
the day,
Thou canst not then be false
to any man.
SMD
15.2.23
Text copyright © Sidney Donald 2023
