Upside Down Cake

 

UPSIDE-DOWN CAKE

There is a traditional British confection, usually with a pineapple base, called an upside-down cake, and as I emerged, blinking, from winter hibernation and writer’s block, I thought that our world has a new, peculiar flavour, with old certainties up-ended and familiar tastes transformed. It will all take some getting used to, analysis will be intense and we would be wise not to rush to judgement. Modern humanity is restlessly dynamic and old alliances may wobble. If governments are elected on a platform of radical and rapid change, we can expect a bumpy, pot-holed journey.

Upside Down Cake (per Mary Berry)

Before we criticise others, we would be wise to contemplate our own navel. The UK is not a happy ship. It is a sharply polarised society- Left v Right, Woke v Traditional, North v South, Brexiteer v Eurofanatic. From 2010 to 2024 it had an inept Tory government, helped by facing an unelectable Labour opposition of loony Leftists. Its leaders, hollow Cameron, guileless May, erratic Boris, gambling Truss, or uninspiring Sunak, did not quicken the pulse. They were unlucky to encounter the Covid plague, but every country suffered that. Then Labour found new leadership in Keir Starmer and in 2024 convincingly won the election. Labour’s hour had struck.

What a disaster! With Rachel Reeves as Chancellor, the government made mistake after mistake. Unaffordable public sector salary rises, high tax increases on employers, class war attacks on private education, tax privileges withdrawn from many farmers. Doctrinal stuff poorly presented. UK politics became more fractured. Farage’s Reform Party capturing many on the Right, Lib Dems and Greens attracting the Woke dreamers, even the declining Nationalists getting a boost. Starmer himself often looks the part of PM but the public suspect that while he can master a brief as a lawyer, he lacks any inner conviction or driving principle. He will not long survive as leader. Faced with higher defence obligations and shaky public finances the UK must cut its coat sharply.

Britain’s unlikely saviours

The UK voted to leave the EU in 2016 by a narrow margin and after many a wrangle finally left in 2020. The Brexiteers caught onto a popular current as the benefits of EU membership were not apparent to many; the civil service and the Establishment Blob loved the EU and yet every attempt was made by Europe to humiliate, frustrate, exploit and thwart the UK, notably by France, Germany and the EU Commission. The chances of the UK working happily with these people are very remote. Europe is much too disparate to agree any coherent policies, with wide economic and political gaps separating her various blocs. Only wishful thinking by dreaming Starmer can overcome this hard reality.

  

E Macron                                          U von der Leyen                            O Scholz

With friends like these, who needs enemies?

The ingredient in our cake which was once an enviable honey-pot but is now a flailing paprika-laden poison is our erstwhile ally, the United States of America. Donald Trump returned to office 100 days ago in January 2025, comfortably overwhelming Biden and Harris. In his campaign Trump had to dodge a few bullets, but his nationalistic MAGA message was consistently preached and lapped up. The world did not take Trumpism very seriously but had to rethink as Trump imposed high tariffs, which he levied erratically but hunkered down to a trade-war with China and South East Asia, formidable opponents.

Much worse, Trump kept shooting himself in the foot by changing sides in the Russia – Ukraine War, withdrawing military aid to Ukraine, praising Russia, disparaging NATO, insulting Zelensky, ignoring the EU. There have been some conciliatory gestures, but trust in Trump’s USA is rapidly melting. He also threatened Canada and Greenland with annexation, roundly condemned by them. This whole foreign policy issue has been treated by Trump as an expanded poker game and he has behaved with a degree of egotism and crassness which would have brought blushing shame to his many distinguished predecessors.

Yet the Trump regime has sound democratic credentials and there is some common sense in most of its policies. Trump complains about judgments against him (which he routinely evades) but he does not ignore the Constitution – he is a keen supporter of states’ rights. He pushes his programme by presidential edict as his majority in both houses of Congress is thin. He is a demagogue, but the US has seen quite a few of them in history. All the instincts of the UK public, all anglophonic, cultural and inherited values pull the UK towards the US. Relations are going through a rough patch. The UK needs to deploy all her diplomatic skills in re-establishing harmony and goodwill between our like-minded nations.

SMD

1.05.25 Text Copyright © Sidney Donald 2025

LIFE'S PLEASURES

 

LIFE’S PLEASURES

We get a bucketful of misery from so many aspects of our existence that it is worth remembering that our lives are enriched too by a catalogue of delights, many of which are free. I set out a small list below which reflects my no doubt old-fashioned personal tastes – make your own list, it will cheer you up!

1.      Scotland

I had the good fortune to be born in handsome Aberdeen and educated in lovely, if chilly, Edinburgh. Away from the Central Belt, Scotland is the sparsely populated playground of Europe.

Oh for the crags that are wild and majestic

The steep frowning glories of dark Lochnagar (Byron)

We rejoice in the beautiful Road to the Isles – Sure by Tummel and Loch Rannoch and Lochaber I will go – and no visitor should miss Mull and sacred Iona, among whose ruins your piety will grow warmer, according to Dr Johnson. You can trek, climb, golf, drink, fish, sail or philosophise. Whatever, Scotland punches well above her weight.

2.      Hollywood

My father’s family business included a local chain of 12 cinemas and in the interval between school and going home I sat in in a cinema watching every second feature in the 1946-50 era – Abbott and Costello, The Bowery Boys, Francis the talking mule, Roy Rodgers or Gene Autrey Westerns. Later, as my tastes changed, my celluloid education took in Doris Day, Judy Garland, Howard Keel, Fred Astaire or Gene Kelly musicals and blossomed with Humphrey Bogart classics and Bette Davis dramas.

I spent many happy hours of my life watching films. I do not agree with everything America does but Hollywood for me was a great civilising engine.

3.      Buildings to die for

From my European standpoint there are a handful of buildings which have the “wow-factor”, rooting you to the spot, yet easily enough accessible.

 I first nominate La Sainte Chapelle, Paris, the rayonnant chapel built by Louis IX in about 1350 to house

 

his Passion Collection including the purported Crown of Thorns. Its Upper Level has the most stunning display of medieval stained glass in the world.

 

Then there is Ottobeuren Abbey in Bavaria, fabulously Rococo, exuding rapt devotion, with a riotous profusion of plaster saints in joyful ecstasy.

 

Rococo is not much seen in the UK, but I find this dynamically flamboyant style irresistible.

My other wow-factor building is Amiens Cathedral, surely the finest Gothic cathedral in Europe. It is the largest cathedral in France, double the size of Notre Dame de Paris. Mainly dating from the 13^th Century, its sculpture and carvings are admirable, and its proportions give it majestic solemnity. A 19^th Century restoration overseen by Viollet-le-Duc was a triumph.

                                      

                                                                      Amiens Cathedral

4.      English “Laugh out Loud” Writing.

Beneath a thin layer of reserve the English are a boisterous race given to joking, tomfoolery and farce. Tudor and Jacobean writers were notably unfunny (sadly including Shakespeare) but 18^th century novelists could easily raise a titter and by the first half of the 19th century we were experiencing the irrepressible genius of Charles Dickens where a tumult of  rich characters like Pickwick, Mr Micawber, Sarah Gamp, Sam Weller, Mr Bumble, Uriah Heep and Ebeneezer Scrooge make his pages dance before our eyes.  But Dickens was a crusader and few of his novels are flawless – convoluted plots, unconvincing female characters, sentimentality and regular dull patches.

The 20th century produced 2 brilliant comic writers in the UK, P.G. Wodehouse and Arthur Marshall. Wodehouse created his own fictional world populated by imperious Aunts, absent minded aristocrats like Lord Emsworth, Mr Mulliner’s unique anecdotal vignettes, worldly manservants like Jeeves, fairly brainless men about town in the Bertie Wooster mould, and an enormous hilarious oeuvre, recording his creations’ madcap activities - be they gossiping at the Drones Club, playing golf or having adventures chasing determined young ladies around stately homes. PGW is incomparable.  

My other favourite is Arthur Marshall (1910-89), frustrated actor, schoolmaster at Oundle, post-war radio turn as Nurse Dugdale, reviewer, columnist, TV personality on Call my Bluff. Arthur perfected the acute short piece deriving high comedy from ordinary matters, British Rail, Devon resorts, puddings, the West End theatre, (where his acquaintance was matchless). In later life on TV, chins a-wobble, emanating good humour and sunshine, Arthur revealed his true worth – a blessed National Treasure.

                                                               Arthur Marshall

5.      Human Genius

My catalogue of uplifting pleasures is endless – we humans have created so much beauty and culture that this conclusion is inevitable. High Art is our proud achievement. The poetry of Wordsworth and Keats, the paintings of Rembrandt and Tiepolo, the music of Purcell, Charpentier, Beethoven and Mozart or the 26 ancient Anglican Cathedrals. I will receive criticism that my taste is pale, male and stale, but it would not be a surprise if the old favourites are in fact the best. Drink in the achievements of our forebears -they invigorate and sustain us!

 

SMD

26.5.25

Text copyright © Sidney Donald 2025

MITRED MANIA

It is clearly open season for Anglican Bishops – at least two have fallen from their perches in recent months and others are under fire. Being a Bishop has often been a perilous occupation, but the compensations can be very substantial. I confess I have daydreamed about becoming a Bishop myself – the lawn sleeves, the discreet crucifix pendant, the processional gait, the stately mitre, the rather nasal chanting of the prayers and responses, as I indulge in clerical chitchat at the Athenaeum about the merits of The 39 Articles. Tired, I retire to my palace for a well-earned saddle of lamb and a generous glass of claret…. Then, I suddenly snap out of my dream realising I hardly qualify for this role, being a lifelong humanist, estranged from revealed religion by my scepticism, (I simply do not believe a word of it!) and by no stretch of the imagination a liver of a righteous and holy life.

Justin Welby, Archbishop of Canterbury

Welby presided over the funeral of Elizabeth II and the coronation of Charles III with due dignity and brought a managerial flavour to his office. But in defending the Church he strayed into Establishment attitudes by hushing up the extensive paedophile activities of one John Smyth, creating scandal when the facts emerged. Welby’s position became untenable, and he went.

John Perumbalath, Bishop of Liverpool

The case of John Perumbalath was more straight-forward. A sprightly native of Kerala, India, the Bishop could not contain his exuberance, and several ladies complained of his groping ways. He was denounced by Bev Mason, suffragan Bishop of Warrington, to add to the back-stabbing picture. He quickly resigned.

                                            Stephen Cottrell, Archbishop of York

Cottrell is the most senior Anglican bishop and must be a candidate for the vacant see of Canterbury. However there have been noisy calls for his resignation (sharply refused by Cottrell) in view of his past support for Perumbalath and his alleged sheltering of a now-expelled priest David Tudor. He may confound his critics but currently he is under fire.

York has often been controversial. When an earlier Archbishop, John Sentamu, confirmed David Jenkins as Bishop of Durham, Jenkins had already expressed heretical views on the Resurrection and the Virgin Birth. A day or two later, York Minster was struck by lightning, hailed by the Evangelicals as a clear sign of God’s wrath – a perfect compound of superstition and ill-will. Although Sentanu was well respected, in retirement he has been entirely banned from preaching thanks to some historic mishandling of a sexual misbehaviour case.

                                        John Sentanu, previous Archbishop of York

Stepping back from these recent problems in the Anglican Church, I see its decline as part of the long-delayed triumph of Enlightenment values in England. In 1650 Irish Bishop Ussher proclaimed his notorious chronology stating that creation (i.e. the birth of Adam) occurred on October 22 4004 BC and was taken seriously in devout circles for 200 years. In the 18^th century the Church acquired wealth and power and ludicrously the Church retains to this day its 26 reserved seats in the House of Lords - surely an easy enough target for Butterfingers Starmer! “Soapy Sam” Wilberforce, Bishop of Winchester was an eloquent controversialist and opposed Darwinism and TH Huxley in a debate of 1860, a typical reactionary.

Soapy Sam Wilberforce

Albert Schweitzer

But the tide was turning. Ernest Renan scandalised France with his Life of Jesus in 1865 and Albert Schweitzer’s Quest of the Historical Jesus (1906) brilliantly began to face the real issues. These books demythologised Christ, ridiculed past historic accretions and pulled the rug from under many theological positions. After the controversy surrounding the collection of essays The Myth of God Incarnate by John Hick and 6 others in 1977, and the earlier Honest To God undermining of deism as set out by John Robinson, Bishop od Woolwich in 1963, it became obvious that leading Anglicans “no longer believed a word of it” and it was becoming time to shut up shop.

So, I say, “Thank you” and “Goodbye” to the Anglican Church. Thank you for the legacy of beautiful buildings you have cared for throughout England – many will be demolished while others will long be protected and cherished. And it is “Goodbye” to dogma, to absurdity and to intolerance. May these enemies of humanity never re-appear!

 

SMD

5.02.24

Text copyright © Sidney Donald 2025

MY BUTTERFLY MIND

Unable to sustain serious thought for more than about 30 minutes, I flitter from subject to subject, sipping its sweet nectar or bitter acidity like a demented butterfly. I will be heading home from delectable North Carolina in less than 2 weeks, so now is the moment critique, time to pontificate ignorantly about the health of Uncle Sam and peek into the future.

(1)    Only a matter of days now until Joe Biden can totter off to his peaceful care-home in Delaware, and hand over the nuclear codes and the government of the USA to the unreliable care of Donald Trump.

                         Trump and his oddball pal Elon Musk

Trump is inaugurated for his second term on Monday 20 January. For the last 3 months, the world has tried to anticipate Trump’s plans, and the chancelleries of many countries are a-tremble. We can expect a hurricane of activity. He sees himself as a cosmic deal-doer and he believes he can end the Russo-Ukraine War, probably by awarding invaded land to Putin, acquire Greenland by squeezing his supposed ally Denmark, tame Chinese expansion by starting a trade war, punish woke and Lefty Canada by increasing its dependence on the US, upset the EU and UK by distancing the US from her NATO commitments and regain control of the Panama Canal via extreme economic pressure. At home, he will protect US companies from competition by levying stiff tariffs on all imports, end illegal immigration by deporting thousands of Latinos, recruit more police to fight crime and favour meritocratic competition rather than “inclusive” policies in the labour market. Some of these policies are sensible but many are destabilising, not to say predatory. All need to be thought through carefully – not really Trump’s style.

Not much confidence has been generated by Trump’s announced cabinet appointments (most subject to congressional approval). There are many disruptors but few with solid governing experience in their portfolio appointments. Recently much has been heard from Elon Musk, adviser on government efficiency. Musk is said to be the richest man in the world, through his control of Tesla, but his pronouncements on UK politics at least have been naively ill-informed and Musk does not convince as a team player and may not last long as Trump’s mouthpiece.

(2)    America is not just about its politics, amazingly baroque as they may be. The USA is a hugely dynamic society, for years globally dominant and admired. Her living standards are light-years ahead of most of the world and even the gap between her and Western Europe is widening by the day. Her industries benefit from an enormously wealthy home market, natural resources abound, banks are solvent, new buildings rise in profusion, innovation and creativity are worshipped, tertiary education flourishes.

A country of 332m population is sure to have its problems. Ethnic tensions are a historical legacy – the USA is 62% White, 19% Hispanic-Latino, 12% Black, 7% Other. Blacks suffered the horrors of Slavery and Latinos were subservient. Understandably Americans tiptoe around the racial subject and seek not to offend, especially in the media. Hence there is plenty of what we Europeans call Wokery on TV. For example, I watch with some pleasure Queen Latifah star in The Equalizer, a spin-off from the Denzil Washington vigilante films, with 40-minute story episodes based in New York. The storyline often revolves around perceived exploitation of black people – fair enough for a US audience – but much less suited to one in Europe where the demographics are entirely different.

 

                                                    Queen Latifah in The Equalizer 

More frivolously, can I raise the US diet? This country has superb ingredients and excellent restaurants of all kinds. So why so much emphasis on vast helpings of junk food? Why do US supermarkets prosper selling bleached bread, chlorinated chicken and fizzy nothing drinks? There is almost a conspiracy to cap or defy nature. Oatmeal or cinnamon cake tastes fine, but America insists on covering them with sugary icing or a gooey mixture to pile on the calories. So of course, obesity is a rather visible problem; Americans put a great store on looking good, so surely, they should avoid a situation where one could park a bicycle between their buttocks! Yet in summary, I certainly do not disparage the cuisine of any country that can produce exquisite smoked beef brisket, toothsome clam chowder, amazing grilled rainbow trout and ribeye steaks to die for! But Americans, remember the Greeks -Pan Metron Ariston (Everything in moderation)

 

(3)    Finally, let us peek into the future, where giant strides forward are made daily. Knowledge is power stated Francis Bacon in the 17^th century and the US and Western Europe are hoovering up most of it, though China is nor a laggard. Space exploration, undersea studies, genetics, mass transit systems, pharmaceuticals, robotics, energy projects are all areas of intense effort and competition. Sadly for me, my excellent public-school education left me wholly ignorant formally of science. I had precisely one term of Science, which taught me how to light a Bunsen burner, and then I concentrated on the Humanities. So, I was red-hot on Wordsworth, Gladstone, or the Peninsular War but less hot on Newton and Faraday. I later read up something about Robert Oppenheimer and Alan Turing (at least I saw the movies) but if some soul wants a cogent explanation of Heisenberg’s Theory of Uncertainty, he should knock on someone else’s door.

My layman’s instinct tells me that great things have often been half-discovered in the past and now can be revived with the help of the latest scientific techniques. After much research in the dusty tomes of chroniclers and alchemists I present to you the phenomenon known as “Spontaneous Human Combustion”, (SHC), first formulated in 1746 as a pseudo-scientific explanation of the death of Countess Cornelia Bandi. There were several cases in the 19^th century where SHC was certified as the cause of death, but many of these cases were in Ireland and the deceased were old ladies with a fondness for drink often huddling near a warming fire. Unsurprisingly SHC was not much accepted in polite scientific circles.

 But fast forward to September 2024 and Israel’s remote pager attack on its enemies in Lebanon. 

Robert Oppenheimer

          

Alan Turing

It is surely child’s-play for modern practitioners of generic Artificial Intelligence to infiltrate a trigger into some everyday item of clothing (trainers?)  worn globally, detonate a SHC device and observe the satisfying puff of white smoke as the target combusts. What targets? Don’t worry,

 I’ve got a little list,

 I’ve got a little list,

And there’s none of them be missed.   

There’s none of them be missed! (patents pending)

 

SMD

10.01.25