DRINK UP!

 

As we all stagger out of Lockdown, trying to dodge the Indian Covid variant and no doubt the next Great Plague too, our habits must adapt to our newly liberated world. The reopening of pubs and restaurants is good news generally, but my tastes in food and drink are a little antique and I am chary of abandoning social distancing quite yet.

    A return to conviviality

 I was fascinated by the recent story of the campaign to save Britain’s 40,000 pubs. It issued a clarion call for all adults to increase their pub spending this year and each consume;

124 pints of beer, or,

122 glasses of wine, or, if teetotal

976 packets of crisps, or

40 roast dinners.

Most of us will at least attempt to do their bounden duty to save our pubs and imbibe with enthusiasm!

The licensed trade campaign actually is not setting very high consumption bars for the habitual drinker (230 or so days left in 2021) – but “all adults” is another matter. I used to drink very regularly and in quantities I reckoned normal, but our alarmist and timid NHS would brand “excessive”. In my dotage, my capacity has tailed off, but I very rarely have an alcohol-free day. Sadly, I now mainly drink at home so I am no great gift to the licensed trade.

As I cautiously peer over the top of my Brexit trench, I consider what wines I should drink. I am reluctant to buy French (although they do produce excellent, if overpriced, stuff) and I can probably do without Italian and German gargles. I may have to make do with Chilean or Argentinian reds supplemented by Antipodean whites – English wine is potable but expensive. I cannot renounce my warming  Spanish sherry, mainstay of my long and idle afternoons.

As for food, I cherish Scotch beef and Welsh lamb, said to be endangered by a prospective free trade deal between the UK and Australia, a substantial meat producer. I guess there is an element of special pleading about this controversy and a deal will materially benefit both countries. All deals are to be welcomed, especially with our Commonwealth brothers, as we rebuild the contacts of Global Britain, no doubt in due course with our European and American cousins too.

Once we escape from Lockdown, how do we amuse ourselves? Large-scale spectator events, like football, cricket and rugby matches, are not attractive to me (much better viewed on the telly) though an English village cricket game, with tea and crumpets, would warm the cockles. I watch far too much afternoon TV and brain-rot is an (non-)occupational hazard. Worst of all, over three nights this week we have the Eurovision Song Contest, long ago seized by the gays and the glitterati. This year it comes from liberal Rotterdam and deadly dud songs, flamboyant flouncers and strobe lighting will invade every house in the land. OMG – popular culture!

                                    Fallen Angel Tix of Norway enchants Eurovision

We idly dream of foreign holidays but that road seems to be strewn with obstacles, quarantines, tests and red, amber and green lists – not to mention bureaucratic confusion, the threat of variants and different rules for different countries. The contradictory voices of “experts” assail us, hopelessly entwining science with politics. The British weather has been particularly unkind, pushing us to flee South and we yearn for the Mediterranean sun or spacious America. At present the human price is too high, what with profiteering airlines, dodgy local infection statistics and lengthy, sweaty arrival queues at Heathrow.

I optimistically hope that these matters will be sorted out in the next few months but our luck could easily be running thin this year. More realistically, we may have to settle for 2 bracing weeks in Skegness, a mystery bus tour to Wolverhampton and a plateful of tepid Cornish pasties!

 

SMD

20.05.21

Text Copyright© Sidney Donald 2021

THE BORIS PHENOMENON

 

 

The 6 May election bonanza, a rich stew of by-election, English local elections, mayoralty contests, Scottish and Welsh devolved parliamentary elections, produced feasts for some, thin gruel for others and fragrant mouthfuls for yet others. It allowed 3 of the 4 home countries to let off their political steam, Covid-suppressed since 2019, and it took updated temperatures of the UK’s changing mood and sentiment.

First, let there be no doubt that 6 May was a huge triumph for Boris Johnson and his Conservatives. His strategy of “levelling up” in the English regions, defying the opinion of metropolitan elites, has been vindicated.

                

                       Boris rubs elbows with the victor of Hartlepool

The 2019 general election had seen the Conservatives breach the Labour “red wall” in the North. These elections saw even more local authorities in the North turn blue – Co. Durham, Teesside, bastions of working-class England. Much of the Midlands and most of the South is steadily blue. Boris, folksy and outgoing, seems to cast an electoral magic attracting the most unlikely groups of voters. Astonishingly, Boris chalked up a landslide victory in depressed Hartlepool’s by-election, once one of Labour’s safest Westminster seats. There is precious little in Boris’ own background or behaviour to explain this enchantment, but it is real. Boris personally has become an immense electoral asset for the Conservative cause and, to the dismay of his many sneering detractors, his leadership position is probably safe for years. Well played, Boris!

Labour have had a very uncomfortable set of results. Sir Keir Starmer sits in the hottest of hot seats. Leader of the Opposition and of the Labour Party since April 2020, worthy lawyer Starmer has little charisma or political touch and his Party will take a long time to bury public memories of erstwhile Leader Jeremy Corbyn’s 5-year term and his extreme left-wing agendas. Most voters have turned their back on Labour and Starmer is drenched with Wokery, illiberalism and “progressive” claptrap, light-years away from the concerns of ordinary British people. Do not suppose the electorate will forget the shameful sight of Starmer with Angela Rayner “taking the knee” as they abase themselves at the behest of the BLM agitators, so alien to the UK world-view.

National Embarrassment: Keir Starmer and Angela Rayner “take the knee”

Although Labour is on the ropes, it is by no means down and out. It held Wales quite comfortably, a reward for Mark Drakeford’s confident management of the pandemic. It lost Council seats but its haul in the English mayoralty contests was impressive. Sadiq Khan held on to London, Andy Burnham won Greater Manchester and is maybe Starmer’s heir-apparent, Tracy Brabin was the new West Yorkshire mayor and Dan Norris seized West of England from the Tories. Conservatives Ben Houchin and Andy Street won in Teesside and West Midlands respectively, historically Labour territory. The Conservatives will fancy their chances of winning the by-election at Batley and Spen, vacated by Tracy Brabin and the old Yorkshire seat of Jo Cox MP murdered by a right-wing terrorist in 2016. If Labour loses, Starmer will surely be doomed.

Alas, in one part of the UK Boris’ magic does not work. The SNP swept to their 4^th successive Scottish Parliament victory and are sitting pretty for another 5 years.

Cocky Nicola Sturgeon

Needing 65 of the 130 seats for an overall majority, the SNP won 64, but there is an independence referendum majority as the 8 Greens support that Nationalist cause. The Conservatives held their vote with 31 seats and Labour won only 22 (down 2). The LibDems scraped 4 and ex-First Minister Alex Salmond’s new Alba Party got nowhere (thank goodness). Solid Douglas Ross, the new Tory leader, did not enthuse the masses and Labour’s leader, likeable Anas Sanwar, failed to galvanise his vote.

All the crowing in Scotland was done by my bête noire, Nicola Sturgeon. She is a very irritating person (we Scots call her “a wee nyaff”), cocksure and fanatical. Her party’s dominance is a grave threat to the Union and the prosperity of the UK. The SNP government has a mediocre record and depends heavily on UK subsidies. There has not been an informed debate on how Scotland would function if it left the Union. It is a classic clash between the head and the heart and Boris probably hopes that sentiment will change as he brings all the UK back to prosperity in the next few months. A solution requires state-craft of a high order or we may experience the agony of insurrection, suppression, East-West partition and generations of inter-communal enmity, a dark cloud indeed.  

This is a dystopian vision and all Britons of good- will must work together to avoid it becoming a reality.

 

SMD

11.05.21

Text Copyright© Sidney Donald 2021

 

STANDARDS IN PUBLIC LIFE

 

Once upon a time, we Brits could congratulate ourselves on high standards in public life. If a government minister was discovered to have lied to the House of Commons (eg John Profumo), he would be expected to resign at once. If a minister kept crooked business company (eg Reginald Maudling) he would find his position untenable and leave public life. If his personal faults proved embarrassing to colleagues and constituents (eg George Brown), he would sink in esteem and inexorably depart from office. Sad to relate, these old standards have slipped markedly and the smell of corruption permeates easy-going Westminster, Whitehall and Downing Street.

        

                     John Profumo                                                   Reggie Maudling

      

                                  George Brown

Politics in the UK has been particularly fraught for the last 10 years as the nation has struggled with the fiscal and regulatory imperialism of the EU, which did not deign to listen to UK objections. This culminated in the 2016 referendum producing a slim majority in favour of leaving. A majority of the appalled Establishment preferred to stay but the democratic will had to be obeyed. The Tory Party was split, the incumbent leader David Cameron resigned; an ineffective Theresa May presided over a hopelessly split House of Commons and a weak ministry for 3 years. Boris Johnson rallied the Brexit cause, deposed May and won a stunning election victory in December 2019, finalising a vital exit deal with the EU in December 2020. After a transition period, the new trade deal has only now been ratified by the EU Parliament on 27 April 2021. A resolution by the EU characterized Brexit as “an historic error” and much residual bitterness lingers on both sides, despite diplomatically emollient words.

It is perhaps not surprising that parliamentary discipline has weakened during this period of splits and bitter enmity. The ability of party whips to strong-arm MPs into obedience is disappearing, so various oddballs and mavericks rave on undisturbed. The loyalty, and certainly the confidentiality, of the Civil Service is also very doubtful. 

Boris Johnson can take immense credit for leading the country through this labyrinth. At his best he is inspirational and he has stood up to a number of crises staunchly and usually has worsted his antagonists. Yet it is true that Boris is a polarising figure, much valued by many but intensely hated by others.                              

              Carrie Symonds and Boris

Nobody pretends that he is a paragon of virtue. He is denounced as a bounder and a cad (the same was said of Churchill) and his sex-life is “colourful”, not to say shambolic. Two wives, Allegra Mostyn-Owen and Marina Wheeler, with 4 legitimate children have been interspersed with a number of girlfriends. Petronella Wyatt, Anna Fazackerley, Helen McIntyre (I love-child), Jennifer Arcuti and his present fiancée Carrie Symonds (I love-child) are in the public arena, so there may be a few more. This is in the prime ministerial tradition of a Regency rake like Lord Palmerston or the Welsh goat David Lloyd George rather than the straight bat of Harold MacMillan or Gordon Brown.

          

        Palmerston                                                    Lloyd George
                          

The Opposition and Boris’ many enemies are today working themselves into a synthetic lather about his alleged indifference to Covid victims and potential sleaze relating to the funds for the refurbishment of his Downing street flat, without making timely declarations. The public do not really care about this “Westminster bubble” story and I doubt if any mud will stick. I do not favour blue-nosed attitudes, but in truth Boris has pushed public tolerance to new limits.

                   David Cameron – entitled lobbyist?

More serious is the story of ex-Premier David Cameron’s lobbying for Greensill Capital, an Australian company providing supply chain finance – it collapsed in March 2021. The allegation is that Cameron misused his considerable influence to try to persuade the Treasury and Bank of England to give Greensill preferential treatment. He stood to make some millions of pounds through options if he had succeeded. Cameron, since leaving office, has had an off-putting attitude of entitlement and he may be heavily censured in the subsequent Inquiry. Amazingly, a senior government official was simultaneously allowed to remain in office and join the Greensill payroll.

Other public bodies have recently shown slipping standards. The BBC once observed Reithian impartiality but even hitherto sane Laura Kuenssberg filed a very distorted story about Sir James Dyson, Covid ventilators and tax – she was once friendly with Dominic Cummings, now Boris’ fiercest critic. Many other BBC correspondents are blatantly partisan. Even as trusted an institution as the Post Office has blotted its copybook on standards; its chief executive Paula Vennells resigned after the convictions of 39 sub-postmasters were quashed after their alleged theft was ascribed to a computer error. Vennells ignored legal advice and many other postal officers were caught up in this dire miscarriage of justice.

Of course, in the outside world things are much worse. UK universities are a hotbed of “liberal” wokery, denouncing those who disagree with them with Stalinist fervour. In the US President Biden, beholden to leftist cliques, supports BLM, and those organisations “cancelling” author J K Rowling and ethnologist Richard Dawson who both dared to doubt members of the “trans” community had the right to decree what sex they were. The EU, needless to say, has no compunction in lying about vaccines, Brexit, economic performance and anything else it fancies.

We cannot reform the world. We only hope that the UK pulls up her socks and that she returns her public life to the high standards she once enjoyed. We will then be able to breathe fresher air.

 

SMD

29.04.21

Text Copyright © Sidney Donald 2021

THE UNION ON THE RACK

The Union between Scotland and England, of their Crowns since 1603 and of their Parliaments since 1707, is a corner-stone of the UK constitution and it has made a mighty contribution to the prosperity of our United Kingdom for more than 300 years. The contribution of Scots to the public, economic, literary and artistic life of the Union has been remarkable, and yet powerful voices in Scotland are seeking to break these historic bonds to the detriment of both nations. Scottish Parliamentary elections will take place on 6 May 2021 and those results may be crucial to struggles ahead.

        Nicola Sturgeon sets her face against Boris Johnson

The case for Scottish independence emerged from the economic woes and suffering of industrial Scotland in the 1920s and 1930s and was espoused by certain Scots leftist intellectuals. It was an eccentric cause with little support until the 1970s apart from shock by-election wins in Hamilton and Govan. But opinion was moving forward with the Kilbrandon Commission recommending devolution in its 1973 Report. Attempts to introduce devolution in Scotland were defeated in a 1979 referendum where the 51% majority in favour (32% of the electorate) fell short of the required 40% of the electorate. Margaret Thatcher’s reform programme from 1979 to 1990 did not appeal to Scots, who did not directly benefit and who were over-represented in declining industries like mining, ship-building and heavy engineering. The Tories (aka Unionists), masters of Scotland up to the 1955 election, went into steady decline and by 1980 Scotland was a Labour fiefdom.

    

Donald Dewar, the First First Minister

                                                               

                                                                                      Alex Salmond, the flawed SNP hero    

Nationalist support was growing spurred on by the spectacular success of North Sea Oil – “Its Scotland’s Oil!” went their slogan – but electoral success was elusive. Labour embraced the case for devolution and passed the Scotland Act in 1998, after the Blair landslide, leading to incisive Donald Dewar being made the initial First Minister of the devolved Scottish administration in 1999. The assumption was that a constitutional solution had been found and that the Union was safe.

But it was not to be. Donald Dewar suddenly died in 2000 and despite Labour boasting of several “big Scottish guns” in Westminster like Robin Cook, Gordon Brown and Alistair Darling, its local leadership was uncharismatic and began to lose touch with the electorate. A resurgent SNP filled the vacuum with its leader from 2004, street-smart Alex Salmond, becoming First Minister in 2008 in a minority Scottish government, in coalition with the Greens, forming a majority government by 2011. Salmond, with his deputy Nicola Sturgeon, persuaded Westminster Premier David Cameron to agree to a referendum on Independence in 2014 (Cameron airily believing the Nationalist cause was doomed) but in the event it was closer, with the cause of the Union prevailing by a 55% to 45% margin. Salmond resigned the leadership of the SNP, to be succeeded by Nicola Sturgeon. Deep Scottish “patriotic” emotions had been stimulated by the independence campaign, even though it failed, and membership of the SNP quadrupled. The SNP’s accession to government and ministerial experience gave invaluable credibility.

Nicola Sturgeon, bewitching to some

                                                                    

Ruth Davidson, formidable Scottish Tory     

Political fortunes fluctuated wildly. In the 2015 Westminster election, the SNP won 56 (up from 6) of the 59 Scottish seats and the Tories retained 1. Labour were wiped out. In 2017 The SNP, dipped to 35 seats, the Conservatives revived with 13. Labour won back 7 and the LibDems held 4. The poorer SNP showing (Alex Salmond losing his seat) was ascribed to Sturgeon insisting on a 2^nd independence referendum, to an electorate weary with constitutional wrangling. The 2019 election saw the SNP rebound to 48, Tories reduced to 6, Labour to a mere 1 and the LibDems unchanged at 4.

The SNP insist noisily that if they again get a majority of the seats (almost a certainty) in the Holyrood Parliament, to form their 4^th successive ministry, they have a mandate to call for a second referendum on Independence. However only the Tory-controlled Westminster Parliament can approve a referendum as it did in 2014, invoking section 30 of the Scotland Act, and the SNP are campaigning to go through the same process again. In their manifesto the SNP talk of a 2^nd referendum by the end of 2023, once the Covid pandemic has abated. Officially Boris Johnson has said that the 2014 referendum settled the matter for a generation but the nationalist argument is that the situation has radically changed since the completion of Brexit which Scottish voters rejected by 62% to 38% in 2016. There is some force in this argument, but it may well be ignored.

William Wallace, died 1305

        
                                      

Robert the Bruce, died 1329

The SNP are obsessed by an ancient and romantic historical narrative, peppered with quotes from the 1320 Declaration of Arbroath, of Scottish oppression by the English, of supposed victimhood – despite huge subsidies being paid to Scotland via the long-established Barnett Formula. Per capita Scotland is paid 13% more than England, partly justifiable by the less compact spread of population, but certainly other UK voters will not be impressed by populist measures like free university places for Scots residents only and above-UK average payments to public service workers and NHS staff. The SNP have odd views on defence – they have long called for the closure of the US Polaris submarine base on the Holy Loch (an old CND favourite) – but they have not made explicit their seething opposition to NATO. Independence would certainly end Scotland’s lucrative participation in UK warship building. Alex Salmond himself even hosted a TV programme on the RT (Russia Today) channel, often expressing admiration of Vladimir Putin. The SNP also harbour fantasies about avenging Culloden, rejoining the EU, launching their own currency and bestriding the world stage. It has been weakened by the expulsion and defection of Alex Salmond, steeped in unproven sexual allegations, who has set up his new Alba party, also immoderately nationalistic.

The Tories need to prick the SNP bubble but mere ridicule will not suffice. The sad fact is that Boris Johnson does not go down well in Scotland – he is too much the Balliol toff (”that ineffable air of effortless superiority”) for Clydeside tastes and his harrumphing evasions and humour are not appreciated – he should quietly stay away. The Unionist cause was well rallied by feisty Ruth Davidson in Holyrood but she is stepping back from front-line politics and will soon be in the Lords. Aberdonian Michael Gove is smart, if uncharismatic, while the new Holyrood Unionist leader, Douglas Ross, has yet to make his mark. Their team is competent but not yet inspiring.

Let battle commence. Westminster should stick to its adamant refusal to hold a second referendum and the SNP should have their feet held to the fire and be judged by their pandemic performance, control over public finances, deterioration of educational standards and opaquely poor observance of political boundaries. In my eyes, as a Scot and a democrat, the SNP cast a sinister cloud over my nation and ought to be rejected comprehensively.

 

SMD

16.04.21

Text copyright © Sidney Donald 2021

 

PLAYING WITH WORDS

One of the many great joys of human speech are the games and distortions we inflict upon our language, gobbledygook, gibberish, patter, puns or, more kindly, verbal felicity. Let’s explore some of these highways and byways in the search for amusement or even enlightenment. I make 10 selections:

(1)    Largo al Factotum from The Barber of Seville by Gioachino Rossini sung by Vito Priante

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x9fNzkEY9Ko&ab_channel=RoyalOperaHouse

This famous 1816 aria, on the joys of being a handyman, gives baritone Figaro some challenging, rapid tongue-twisters. It starts the opera with a bang.

(2)    Gilly Gilly Ossenfeffer Katzenellen Bogen by the Sea

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZKZZL6uhaRk&ab_channel=VideosTimes2

From the sublime to the ridiculous, this childrens’ song enjoyed attention in the early 1950s and was lapped up – it would die a death today! Max Bygraves sang the British version.

(3)    Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious from Mary Poppins (1964) sung by Julie Andrews and Dick van Dyke

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uZNRzc3hWvE&ab_channel=ItsMusicallyLyrical

My final selection from long-word songs aimed at juvenile audiences, including Julie’s sugary smile and Dick’s appalling cockney accent!

(4)    The Laughing Policeman by Charles Penrose

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nGOKi3nIDrc&ab_channel=VintageBritishComedy.

This comic song from the early 1920s was a staple of Children’s Choice, the Saturday morning brother to Housewives’ Choice, the daily BBC Light Programme request show. Penrose was a typical British Music Hall artiste of the old school.

(5)    Zip from Pal Joey by Richard Rodgers and Lorenz Hart (1940) sung by Rita Hayworth in the 1957 film version with Frank Sinatra and Kim Novak.

https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=zip%2C+from+pal+joey+sung+rita+hayworth

Many American songwriters produced “patter” songs like this one with a dizzying array of contemporary references and wit by the bucket-load.

(6)    Boum by Charles Trenet

https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=boum+song

Although ominous clouds were gathering, France in 1938 retained much of her carefree inter-war spirit and this cheerful song by esteemed Charles Trenet epitomises that spirit.

(7)    Well, did you Evah? by Frank Sinatra and Bing Crosby from High Society (1956)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kq1JQUhwVQ&ab_channel=zaunschirmseppl  

Another patter song, by sophisticated Cole Porter, specially composed for the film. Both Sinatra and Crosby excelled themselves.

(8)    Doo Wah Diddy Diddy by Manfred Mann

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=43vOAw2sAFU&ab_channel=DarrylHushaw

The Rock era ushered in some songs which had wholly nonsensical lyrics. The above effort is typical, originally an American tune, it became a 1964 hit for the British band Manfred Mann.

(9)    I am the Walrus by The Beatles

https://www.google.co.uk/search?q=!+am+the+Walrus+the+beatles

Even worse than having nonsensical lyrics, some songs have totally incomprehensible ones and the above effort from 1967 is a case in point. I will not quote from the lyrics as they are a compound of Liverpudlian anarchy and LSD druggie visions wrapped up in humourless contempt for the audience. I liked the early Beatles but this kind of thing drove me screaming to the exit door.

(10) Let’s call the Whole Thing Off by George and Ira Gershwin sung by Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers in the 1937 musical Shall We Dance?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOILZ_D3aRg&ab_channel=wheel

Maybe the debate on language and pronunciation should be called off, but we will never forget this number with Fred crooning gently and both he and Ginger tap-dancing on roller-skates. What talent, what joie de vivre, what energy and what a boost to any drooping spirits!

 

SMD

3.04.21

Text Copyright © Sidney Donald 2021

 

VOICES OF SPORT

Casting my mind back, funny how it is always back and not forward these days (!), I try to evoke my memories of sporting occasions, and always I hear voices, famous, plummy, friendly voices redolent of a different age.

My earliest memories from the 1940s and 1950s are of Scottish football commentators on the BBC where excitable Peter Thomson and partisan George Davidson held undisputed court. We were dependent on the radio, BBC Light Programme, but it was not beyond making the odd gaffe. I do not remember if it were Peter or George who, in those pre-substitute days, assured us in a game against England “Scotland are playing 10 men without Cox”, a handicap indeed!

          Raymond Glendenning

Harry Carpenter

Some voices were versatile, like old-school, bespeckled and handle-bar-moustached Raymond Glendenning who brought us Cup Finals, but also thrilling us with the Boat Race and the Grand National. Harry Carpenter was particularly associated with boxing, but also turned his hand towards football, tennis and golf. Boxing was a radio feast in the 1950s, the dominant Americans making short work of the likes of Bruce Woodcock, Don Cockrell and later “Our ‘Enery” Cooper. Eamonn Andrews was much involved in boxing commentary in those days, ably assisted by former referee W. Barrington Dalby.

Cricket was avidly followed and the eloquent West Country tones of John Arlott delighted. But the star of them all was Brian Johnston, instantly recognized with his banter and giggles. His humour was of the schoolboy variety and he enjoyed cakes sent in by listeners. He was rather prone to gaffes and once observed that “Botham failed to get his leg over the wicket” and (probably apocryphally) he is credited with the line, at a West Indies test match; “The bowler’s Holding, the batsman’s Willey”. The comma saved the blushes!

 

                                                           Brian Johnston

                                                   

                                                                       Peter Alliss

There were broadcasting heroes in most sports. Wimbledon was blessed with the sharp intake of breath and the gentle exclamation “Oh, I say!” from veteran Dan Maskell as a champion’s forehand passing shot won the point. Peter O’Sullevan amazed with his ability to reel off the places of all runners and riders in the big flat race at machine-gun speed. Peter Alliss, no mean golfer himself, took a gently philosophic view of the game, illuminating The Open or The Masters, who knew how easy it is to fluff a short putt. Murray Walker, who died only a few weeks ago at 97, was a hugely enthusiastic commentator on Formula 1 motor-racing, his screaming voice drowning out the clamour of even that noisy sport.

Football always had the largest following. Kenneth Wolstenholme was a familiar if unspectacular voice but he achieved immortality in the 1966 World Cup Final with his line: “Some people are on the pitch….they think it is all over….well it is now!” as Geoff Hurst hammered the 4^th goal into the German net. Ecstasy! Wolstenholme was replaced by David Coleman, another able professional commentator, but then football fell mainly into the hands of former players – Ian St John, Jimmy Greaves and Gary Lineker. They are all articulate but I particularly enjoy the Northern tones of Alan Shearer and the surprise of Martin Keown, an almost sinister predator on the field but a reflective being in the studio.

      

                             Ian St John and Jimmy Greaves

The sport I most enjoy watching is rugby union with the 6 Nations the most prominent forum. One commentator towered over all others, Bill McLaren, a native of Hawick in the Scots Borders, but a modest expert on all aspects of rugby.  

The incomparable Bill McLaren

 His turn of phrase, in his rich accent, was delightful. “I look at Colin Meads and see a great big sheep farmer who carried the ball in his hands as though it was an orange pip.” or, of an elusive Scottish scrum-half; “He’s like a demented ferret up a wee drainpipe” Bravo Bill, we miss you!

There are other rugby commentators deserving mention notably, calm Eddie Butler, the grotesquely partisan Jonathan Davies for Wales and Brian Moore for England enlivening debate.

I am conscious that my favourites are all “male and pale”, and I acknowledge female and BAME sporting voices and their growing contribution. This tribute is aimed mainly at figures from the past who gave great pleasure to at least 3 generations. A big Thank-You!

 

SMD

25.03.21

Text Copyright © Sidney Donald 2021

THE ROYAL SOAP OPERA

 

Most of us are heartily sick of hearing and reading about our UK royals, their quarrels, oddities and scandals. A hysterical atmosphere has been created by the much-hyped US TV interview from Los Angeles chaired by Oprah Winfrey allowing The Sussexes, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, to parade their grievances, including alleged racism and the indifference to their mental health problems, shown to them by the royal family. I suspect their case has been much exaggerated but the institutions of our monarchy need to be overhauled radically when the Queen passes from the scene.

Oprah’s recriminatory Bear-Pit

Like most Britons, I was delighted when Harry married Meghan and I suppose I largely accepted the fairy-tale narrative of the handsome prince marrying the beautiful commoner. The ceremony at Windsor was magical with Prince Charles winning Brownie-points for escorting Meghan down the aisle. The fact that Meghan was a mixed-race American divorcee was not deemed a problem in the general enthusiasm. Meghan scrubbed up well, dressed elegantly, smiled at the right times and she seemed a positive asset and boost for the royal family.

But it was not to be. Soon stories emerged of Meghan’s demanding ways and the ghastly nature of her mercenary father Thomas and half-sister Samantha. A feud between Harry and Prince William developed, allegedly egged on by Meghan and Kate. Despite Harry’s excellent work with the Invicta Games charity for disabled service men and their residual popularity, the Sussexes talked of stepping back from their duties as full-time royals. After much wrangling, the palace decreed that it was not possible to be “half-in and half-out” of the royals. The Sussexes moved first to Canada and then to an $11m home in Los Angeles. They had to surrender their charity patronages and Harry his military ranks, a heavy blow. However, they have devoted much energy to commercial money-making ventures, one of their motives for leaving The Firm, and an inevitable source of tension.

Which brings us to the Oprah interview. Oprah’s place of reverence in American society is a mystery to many Brits, but let that pass. Meghan adopted her little-girl-lost tearful victimhood pose- she is in fact an experienced showbiz actress on her second marriage – whilst Harry placidly gave credence to slurs against his own family and the mental torture he and Meghan supposedly endured. They were oblivious to the enormous benefits they enjoyed from their privileged and affluent life-style, cocking a snook at ordinary Britons.

The only subject upon which I would agree with them is that the British press and media are disgracefully intrusive and unscrupulous – as exemplified by the obsessional malignity of the likes of Piers Morgan, breaking all reasonable boundaries.

The supposed Victims

To my eyes, Meghan is an attractive and talented woman but in retrospect she was completely miscast as a UK Royal Princess. This really emanates from being American. The Americans are open and direct, restraint and discretion are less valued. Americans are opinionated and emote shamelessly – a world away from British reserve and notions of privacy. It was a doomed enterprise from the start. She is a natural for the Democratic presidential nomination in the 2030s – after all, the Americans voted in hordes for Donald Trump, so expect the unexpected!

Prince Harry has burned his bridges with Britain and the Royal Family and now cuts a sad figure. His future is much less clear if his Californian idyll falls apart. I support our system of constitutional monarchy which is running low on “working royals”.  I know they cost a lot and have too many palaces and flunkies. Prince Charles has plans substantially to slim down the monarchy when he accedes to the throne. The Family is far from squeaky-clean, scandals and hypocrisy abound but they are not racist. They are part of the fabric of our nation – long may they reign!

                                   The Queen, Charles, William and George

SMD      

15.03.21             

 Text Copyright ©Sidney Donald 2021