I have to confess to a wholly unreasonable prejudice against
the bearded, the be-whiskered and the hairy-faced irrespective of their no
doubt substantial individual merits. Is it simply congenital idleness that
prevents them from daily wielding a razor or is it a proud statement
proclaiming their separation from conventional lifestyles? I suspect the latter
and I present as proof four choice specimens from my rogues’ gallery:
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| Jeremy Corbyn |
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| Karl Marx |
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| Fidel Castro |
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| Lenin |
Much of the civilised world was unshaven until say 1900, daily visits to the barber-shop being an adventure in Sweeney Todd’s day; so I will not disparage hirsute Victorians such as John Ruskin, Matthew Arnold and Lord Tennyson so representative of their elevated caste.
The unshaven ranks have always been swelled by hordes of the
unconventional and the bohemian, for instance Bernard Shaw, Lytton Strachey,
Ernest Hemingway, Augustus John et al. I
have less patience with this brigade, wedded to their beards, sandals and
nut-cutlets and spouting “pinko” politics. They have totally infiltrated the
acting profession and join ever-complaining teachers, civil servants and trades
unionists (all well pensioned by the taxpayer) in noisy demonstrations in
favour of #Me Too, Trump Out or whatever this week’s fashionable cause happens
to be. The world-view of these characters is quite contrary to the Truth and
Beauty we (at least supposedly) cherish.
Mainstream Anglophone politicians have almost entirely
forsaken the beard. You have to go back to Benjamin Harrison (1889-93) to find
a bearded US President and the last British Prime Minister to be so adorned was
arch-imperialist Lord Salisbury who finally left office in 1902. Mind you, his
beard was of the broad shovel variety, a sight to behold. George V sported a
beard all his reign (1910-36) but he affected a sea-salt persona and was as
old-fashioned as they come, an ace shooter of pheasant but never mastering the
radio, the motor car nor tolerating the jazzy lifestyle of his prodigal elder
son, clean-shaven Edward, Prince of Wales.
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| Bearded George V |
At the height of their junta power, the Greek Colonels
(1967-74) occasionally insisted that tourists remove their beards, in their
eyes a badge of Communism, or face deportation. This was a ludicrous piece of
over-kill but demonstrates the power of prejudice. Business boardrooms are
often beard-free areas (no commies, please, we’re British!) though the likes of
abrasive Sir Alan Sugar and charming Sir Richard Branson have managed to
squeeze by.
I personally did grow
a beard about 8 years ago but it was fleecy white and Greek children mistook me
for Santa Claus, not ideal for a parsimonious Scotsman! I quickly snipped and
shaved back to blessed normality. Outside
the West, many bearded wonders from the 20th century have made their
distinctive contribution to their own cultures, like Rabindranath Tagore, the
Indian writer and polymath and Grigori Rasputin, Russia’s mad monk and purveyor
of the black arts.
I sign off, nursing my irrational prejudices, and
apologising to my bearded friends – but do dig out those scissors, cut-throat
razors and leather strops, old chaps!
SMD
16.01.18
Text Copyright ©Sidney Donald 2018
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