As one reaches certainly the Sixth and quite
possibly the Seventh Age of Man, I find myself scratching around in a desperate
search for something to add distinction to the name Sidney D - my ancestors, my
native town or my achievements. Alas, I have drawn a blank – no Sidney D
charged heroically at Waterloo, nor made the serene streets of stolid Aberdeen
tremble with excitement and my modest achievements do not echo and resound through
the years. I stretched a point and researched what momentous events coincided
with my Birthday -31 July – and even there the pickings are pretty thin. But I
will have to make the best with what history records!
1. 31 July 1689. The relief of besieged
Londonderry by the forces of William of Orange against those of James II.
2. 31 July 1956. Jim Laker spins out
Australia 10 for 53 in the second innings of the Test match. His deceptive
bowling completely bamboozled the visiting Aussies.
3. 31 July 1959. Cliff Richard’s song Living
Doll gives him his first UK Top of the Pops.
4. 31 July 1970. Black Tot Day. The Royal Navy ends the daily rum ration for sailors, a custom operating since 1740.
The Relief of Derry 1689
1. The Relief of Derry, as described in
a memorable passage by Macaulay, with the Apprentice Boys and so on, is a
seminal event for Protestant Ireland and the subsequent Ascendancy. Modern
Ireland, both North and South, have since taken some astonishing turns. The
South can hardly be proud of de Valera, Haughey or Leo Varadkar, irrelevant grandstanders
of world events while the stiff-backed Leaders of the old Northern Ireland,
Carson, Craigavon and Brookeborough, have given way to more dubious figures
like Faulkner, Ian Paisley and the newly disgraced Sir Jeffrey Donaldson. The
much-vaunted Good Friday Agreement and the devolved Stormont are not working
well with Sinn Fein and its often-revered gunmen steadily gaining ground.
Mind you, devolution is not working well anywhere.
In Scotland, the sinisterly secretive SNP regime imploded with the 2023
departure under a financial cloud of Nicola Sturgeon only to be succeeded by
clueless Humza Yousaf, keen to donate Scottish taxpayers’ treasure to help his
ancestors in Gaza. Humza’s brother-in-law has recently been charged with
extortion, and his alleged victim died in a defenestration in Dundee, normally
a Czech or Russian speciality to my dystopian mind. The poor Scots are stuck
with SNP rule until new Assembly elections in May 2026. Send an aid convoy
pronto!
Scotland’s heavy Handicap: Hamza Yousaf
2. Turning now to Jim Laker, he was a low-profile
cricketer of the old school. His off-spinning achievements in that remarkable
test series in 1956 ensure his place in sporting history. In those days, with
players like Denis Compton, Godfrey Evans or later Ted Dexter, flamboyance was
tolerated but not encouraged, but consistent performances were cherished. Sportsmen
have moved on since then – they are now “celebrities” and we are told more than
we need to know about their wealth, lifestyle, dark pasts, wives, girlfriends
and political views. We are in the world of sport as showbiz, maniacally
following the lives of Harry Kane, Wayne Rooney, Tiger Woods, David Beckham or Novak
Djokovic although sadly some fall off the high-wire like Oscar Pretorius, Boris
Becker and O J Simpson. I do wish we could revert to the earlier order and
simply give warm thanks if England won the Ashes, Arsenal won the League and
Scotland won the 6 Nations!
Remember Jim Laker spinning his magic
3. Cliff Richard is still going strong
at age 83. His Living Doll was a catchy ditty but no more and generally
his output is rather bland and middle-ranking. His long career has been
remarkably successful. He is moreover a personable fellow, a born-again Christian,
respectable and conservative in his attitudes, atypical of most in the pop
world. Some record companies and DJs have shunned him and ridiculed him openly
as being too old-fashioned.
Cliff has competed in Eurovision (he came 3rd) and the contrast is stark with 2024’s UK representative Olly Alexander, a tattooed militant LGBT+ campaigner and noisy critic of Israel. Alexander is a recognised actor and pop singer. I predict the dreaded “nul points” for him
Olly Alexander – “Woke” personified
4. Black Tot Day was indeed a black day
for the Royal Navy. What, no rum ration? Is nothing sacred? Alas, since 1970
quite a few traditional customs and institutions have changed. Oxbridge is now run
by left-wingers, determined to pin opprobrium upon the great universities as
supporters of Slavery; violent louts roam our streets untouched by the feeble
Metropolitan Police paid to defend our citizens; our schools and hospitals are
wracked by strikes, when once they were led by dedicated professional staff;
our armed forces are cut back, no longer dependably capable of deterring our
many enemies; Parliament itself is wracked by scandal after scandal as members
on all sides loot their constituents and betray all trust.
Yet all is not lost. Our people have an
abundance of talent supported by a glorious history. Our economy is on the
mend. There are leaders of goodwill in all parties. Total Consensus is not
possible, but a vigorous programme pursued by determined leaders can harness
the national spirit in unity and shake off mediocrity and sloth. “Once more
unto the breach, dear Friends!”
SMD
12.4.24
Text copyright © Sidney
Donald 2024
