MITRED MANIA

It is clearly open season for Anglican Bishops – at least two have fallen from their perches in recent months and others are under fire. Being a Bishop has often been a perilous occupation, but the compensations can be very substantial. I confess I have daydreamed about becoming a Bishop myself – the lawn sleeves, the discreet crucifix pendant, the processional gait, the stately mitre, the rather nasal chanting of the prayers and responses, as I indulge in clerical chitchat at the Athenaeum about the merits of The 39 Articles. Tired, I retire to my palace for a well-earned saddle of lamb and a generous glass of claret…. Then, I suddenly snap out of my dream realising I hardly qualify for this role, being a lifelong humanist, estranged from revealed religion by my scepticism, (I simply do not believe a word of it!) and by no stretch of the imagination a liver of a righteous and holy life.

Justin Welby, Archbishop of Canterbury

Welby presided over the funeral of Elizabeth II and the coronation of Charles III with due dignity and brought a managerial flavour to his office. But in defending the Church he strayed into Establishment attitudes by hushing up the extensive paedophile activities of one John Smyth, creating scandal when the facts emerged. Welby’s position became untenable, and he went.

John Perumbalath, Bishop of Liverpool

The case of John Perumbalath was more straight-forward. A sprightly native of Kerala, India, the Bishop could not contain his exuberance, and several ladies complained of his groping ways. He was denounced by Bev Mason, suffragan Bishop of Warrington, to add to the back-stabbing picture. He quickly resigned.

                                            Stephen Cottrell, Archbishop of York

Cottrell is the most senior Anglican bishop and must be a candidate for the vacant see of Canterbury. However there have been noisy calls for his resignation (sharply refused by Cottrell) in view of his past support for Perumbalath and his alleged sheltering of a now-expelled priest David Tudor. He may confound his critics but currently he is under fire.

York has often been controversial. When an earlier Archbishop, John Sentamu, confirmed David Jenkins as Bishop of Durham, Jenkins had already expressed heretical views on the Resurrection and the Virgin Birth. A day or two later, York Minster was struck by lightning, hailed by the Evangelicals as a clear sign of God’s wrath – a perfect compound of superstition and ill-will. Although Sentanu was well respected, in retirement he has been entirely banned from preaching thanks to some historic mishandling of a sexual misbehaviour case.

                                        John Sentanu, previous Archbishop of York

Stepping back from these recent problems in the Anglican Church, I see its decline as part of the long-delayed triumph of Enlightenment values in England. In 1650 Irish Bishop Ussher proclaimed his notorious chronology stating that creation (i.e. the birth of Adam) occurred on October 22 4004 BC and was taken seriously in devout circles for 200 years. In the 18^th century the Church acquired wealth and power and ludicrously the Church retains to this day its 26 reserved seats in the House of Lords - surely an easy enough target for Butterfingers Starmer! “Soapy Sam” Wilberforce, Bishop of Winchester was an eloquent controversialist and opposed Darwinism and TH Huxley in a debate of 1860, a typical reactionary.

Soapy Sam Wilberforce

Albert Schweitzer

But the tide was turning. Ernest Renan scandalised France with his Life of Jesus in 1865 and Albert Schweitzer’s Quest of the Historical Jesus (1906) brilliantly began to face the real issues. These books demythologised Christ, ridiculed past historic accretions and pulled the rug from under many theological positions. After the controversy surrounding the collection of essays The Myth of God Incarnate by John Hick and 6 others in 1977, and the earlier Honest To God undermining of deism as set out by John Robinson, Bishop od Woolwich in 1963, it became obvious that leading Anglicans “no longer believed a word of it” and it was becoming time to shut up shop.

So, I say, “Thank you” and “Goodbye” to the Anglican Church. Thank you for the legacy of beautiful buildings you have cared for throughout England – many will be demolished while others will long be protected and cherished. And it is “Goodbye” to dogma, to absurdity and to intolerance. May these enemies of humanity never re-appear!

 

SMD

5.02.24

Text copyright © Sidney Donald 2025

MY BUTTERFLY MIND

Unable to sustain serious thought for more than about 30 minutes, I flitter from subject to subject, sipping its sweet nectar or bitter acidity like a demented butterfly. I will be heading home from delectable North Carolina in less than 2 weeks, so now is the moment critique, time to pontificate ignorantly about the health of Uncle Sam and peek into the future.

(1)    Only a matter of days now until Joe Biden can totter off to his peaceful care-home in Delaware, and hand over the nuclear codes and the government of the USA to the unreliable care of Donald Trump.

                         Trump and his oddball pal Elon Musk

Trump is inaugurated for his second term on Monday 20 January. For the last 3 months, the world has tried to anticipate Trump’s plans, and the chancelleries of many countries are a-tremble. We can expect a hurricane of activity. He sees himself as a cosmic deal-doer and he believes he can end the Russo-Ukraine War, probably by awarding invaded land to Putin, acquire Greenland by squeezing his supposed ally Denmark, tame Chinese expansion by starting a trade war, punish woke and Lefty Canada by increasing its dependence on the US, upset the EU and UK by distancing the US from her NATO commitments and regain control of the Panama Canal via extreme economic pressure. At home, he will protect US companies from competition by levying stiff tariffs on all imports, end illegal immigration by deporting thousands of Latinos, recruit more police to fight crime and favour meritocratic competition rather than “inclusive” policies in the labour market. Some of these policies are sensible but many are destabilising, not to say predatory. All need to be thought through carefully – not really Trump’s style.

Not much confidence has been generated by Trump’s announced cabinet appointments (most subject to congressional approval). There are many disruptors but few with solid governing experience in their portfolio appointments. Recently much has been heard from Elon Musk, adviser on government efficiency. Musk is said to be the richest man in the world, through his control of Tesla, but his pronouncements on UK politics at least have been naively ill-informed and Musk does not convince as a team player and may not last long as Trump’s mouthpiece.

(2)    America is not just about its politics, amazingly baroque as they may be. The USA is a hugely dynamic society, for years globally dominant and admired. Her living standards are light-years ahead of most of the world and even the gap between her and Western Europe is widening by the day. Her industries benefit from an enormously wealthy home market, natural resources abound, banks are solvent, new buildings rise in profusion, innovation and creativity are worshipped, tertiary education flourishes.

A country of 332m population is sure to have its problems. Ethnic tensions are a historical legacy – the USA is 62% White, 19% Hispanic-Latino, 12% Black, 7% Other. Blacks suffered the horrors of Slavery and Latinos were subservient. Understandably Americans tiptoe around the racial subject and seek not to offend, especially in the media. Hence there is plenty of what we Europeans call Wokery on TV. For example, I watch with some pleasure Queen Latifah star in The Equalizer, a spin-off from the Denzil Washington vigilante films, with 40-minute story episodes based in New York. The storyline often revolves around perceived exploitation of black people – fair enough for a US audience – but much less suited to one in Europe where the demographics are entirely different.

 

                                                    Queen Latifah in The Equalizer 

More frivolously, can I raise the US diet? This country has superb ingredients and excellent restaurants of all kinds. So why so much emphasis on vast helpings of junk food? Why do US supermarkets prosper selling bleached bread, chlorinated chicken and fizzy nothing drinks? There is almost a conspiracy to cap or defy nature. Oatmeal or cinnamon cake tastes fine, but America insists on covering them with sugary icing or a gooey mixture to pile on the calories. So of course, obesity is a rather visible problem; Americans put a great store on looking good, so surely, they should avoid a situation where one could park a bicycle between their buttocks! Yet in summary, I certainly do not disparage the cuisine of any country that can produce exquisite smoked beef brisket, toothsome clam chowder, amazing grilled rainbow trout and ribeye steaks to die for! But Americans, remember the Greeks -Pan Metron Ariston (Everything in moderation)

 

(3)    Finally, let us peek into the future, where giant strides forward are made daily. Knowledge is power stated Francis Bacon in the 17^th century and the US and Western Europe are hoovering up most of it, though China is nor a laggard. Space exploration, undersea studies, genetics, mass transit systems, pharmaceuticals, robotics, energy projects are all areas of intense effort and competition. Sadly for me, my excellent public-school education left me wholly ignorant formally of science. I had precisely one term of Science, which taught me how to light a Bunsen burner, and then I concentrated on the Humanities. So, I was red-hot on Wordsworth, Gladstone, or the Peninsular War but less hot on Newton and Faraday. I later read up something about Robert Oppenheimer and Alan Turing (at least I saw the movies) but if some soul wants a cogent explanation of Heisenberg’s Theory of Uncertainty, he should knock on someone else’s door.

My layman’s instinct tells me that great things have often been half-discovered in the past and now can be revived with the help of the latest scientific techniques. After much research in the dusty tomes of chroniclers and alchemists I present to you the phenomenon known as “Spontaneous Human Combustion”, (SHC), first formulated in 1746 as a pseudo-scientific explanation of the death of Countess Cornelia Bandi. There were several cases in the 19^th century where SHC was certified as the cause of death, but many of these cases were in Ireland and the deceased were old ladies with a fondness for drink often huddling near a warming fire. Unsurprisingly SHC was not much accepted in polite scientific circles.

 But fast forward to September 2024 and Israel’s remote pager attack on its enemies in Lebanon. 

Robert Oppenheimer

          

Alan Turing

It is surely child’s-play for modern practitioners of generic Artificial Intelligence to infiltrate a trigger into some everyday item of clothing (trainers?)  worn globally, detonate a SHC device and observe the satisfying puff of white smoke as the target combusts. What targets? Don’t worry,

 I’ve got a little list,

 I’ve got a little list,

And there’s none of them be missed.   

There’s none of them be missed! (patents pending)

 

SMD

10.01.25