AMERICAN RABBLE-ROUSERS

As we Brits sit open-mouthed, disbelieving and appalled (even if leavened by a tiny frisson of admiration) when we hear the latest pronouncement from Republican front-runner Donald Trump, we cast an anxious eye over our feeble collection of politicians. While Boris Johnston and Jeremy Corbyn are at the foothills of total idiocy, America has a long and proud tradition of demagoguery and quackery of which The Donald is just the most recent and inflated example.

Donald Trump tries to look thoughtful

Trump has the full armoury of the ignoramus and the bigot, hatred of foreigners, especially poor migrants, contempt for women, hostility to “Washington”, boundless egotism and a view of America that would make the most chauvinistic blush. His rhetoric strikes a chord with those alienated by the modern world and by saloon-bar blowhards who find in Trump a kindred spirit. His views were shared by many a predecessor and I mention some now.

The aptly named Know-Nothings who flourished 1854-6 were a grouping of Protestant men who opposed slavery but also Catholics and immigration. They formed the American Party and were strong in Massachusetts, but never found a real leader; their nominal standard-bearer was the ex-President Millard Fillmore, but he was a dud both as President and as rabble-rouser.

Bryan inflames the 1896 Democrats

Much more successful was William Jennings Bryan, the Democratic populist from Nebraska who won his party’s presidential nomination for the elections in 1896, 1900 and 1908. He shot to fame with his championing of bi-metallism (linking the currency to silver as well as gold) at the 1896 Democratic convention with his celebrated speech declaiming You shall not crucify mankind upon a Cross of Gold. Bryan was isolationist, hostile to big business and anti-imperialist. As his political influence waned, Bryan became a star-turn on the Chautauqua Circuit lecturing on fundamentalist religion and opposing the teaching of evolution. Current US religiosity and creationism are his direct legacy. Bryan made a fool of himself in the Scopes trial of 1925 with his dire scientific ignorance and HL Menken penned a devastating obituary of this charlatan on his death soon after.

Enigmatic Huey Long in 1935

                                     

A rabble-rouser from the Left was Huey Long, Democratic governor and senator from Louisiana, who did good works on education, health and infrastructure in his previously neglected state. He denounced the banks and in particular Standard Oil and had a Share our Wealth programme, employing many socialist nostrums, which played well in the Depression. He wanted to control everything himself and ignored inconvenient democratic restraints when it suited him. He was assassinated in 1935 and it is said that this populist was a proto-Fascist and potential challenger to FDR. He has perhaps inspired Bernie Sanders in his wilder fancies.

Nearer the present is George Wallace, adamant defender of segregation, white supremacy and scourge of “pointy-headed” American intellectuals. A former Democratic Governor of Alabama, Wallace won 5 states and almost 10m votes in the election of 1968, a very strong showing. He ran as an Independent with militaristic running mate General Curtis LeMay, whose praise of the use of nuclear weapons was a drag on Wallace’s campaign – Bombs way with Curt LeMay! - his enemies jeered. A would-be assassin crippled Wallace a few years later and he lost his old puissance.

Wallace, with his hooded eyes, had a distinctly sinister aspect and Trump with his baroque hairstyle and often scowling manner can remind us of George, who wowed the Southern white-trash, just as Donald sets the moronic mid-West a-whooping. As we say up North, There’s Nowt so queer as Folk.

Menacing George Wallace

This unlovely tradition of rabble-rousers moves us back to Donald Trump. Let The Donald speak for himself:

 “An ‘extremely credible source’ has called my office and told me that Barack Obama’s birth certificate is a fraud"

 “Ariana Huffington is unattractive, both inside and out. I fully understand why her former husband left her for a man – he made a good decision.”

“You know, it really doesn’t matter what the media write as long as you’ve got a young, and beautiful, piece of ass.” 

 “I will build a great wall – and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me – and I’ll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words

 “When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending the best.  They’re sending people that have lots of problems and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bring crime. They’re rapists… And some, I assume, are good people.” 

 “Our great African-American President hasn’t exactly had a positive impact on the thugs who are so happily and openly destroying Baltimore.”

“All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me – consciously or unconsciously. That’s to be expected.” 

 “The beauty of me is that I’m very rich.”

 “It’s freezing and snowing in New York – we need global warming!” 

 “I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.” 

 “My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body.” 

“I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I’m more honest and my women are more beautiful.” 

"The point is, you can never be too greedy”

Racism, sexism, creepiness, boastfulness and ignorance are Trump’s stock in trade. It is almost incredible that Trump’s only serious Republican rival is the even worse extremist Ted Cruz. So he might easily walk off with the nomination. He would face experienced Hillary Clinton, who can rationally debate the great issues of the day but whose record is pock-marked and whose personality is ice-cold. Unhappy America to have such a choice!

But let the US keep hold of her sanity. Trump in unelectable, wholly devoid of presidential qualities and, to lower the tone to Trump’s level, I pass this verdict – Donald Trump is a clownish wanker, deserving execration and a volley of rotten vegetables hurled at his ludicrous barnet.

SMD

4.04.16

Text Copyright ©Sidney Donald 2016