SWEET NOTHINGS

 

SWEET NOTHINGS

 

Let me take your minds, temporarily at least, off Ukraine, Covid and Boris and I give you 5 random thoughts to amuse and divert.

 

1.       What a peculiar institution are forenames (my generation were still able to call them “Christian names”). British Prime Ministers were reassuringly conventional – Robert, John, William, David, Andrew, Stanley etc. Only Boris strikes a clanging false-note. But across the Pond, Americans went crazy. Presidents sported monikers like Zachary, Millard, Abraham, Ulysses, Grover, Woodrow, Warren, Calvin, Dwight, Lyndon and Barack. Sadly, Americans have always been trail-blazers in such matters and I predict the inevitable crop of UK Premiers called Brooklyn, Elton and Cilla.

                                 Ulysses Grant, President 1869-1877

 

2.       National anthems and patriotic songs vary greatly in quality. The UK anthem is worthy but dull, eclipsed by the rousing French La Marseillaise or the inspirational Welsh Hen Wlad Fy Nhadau.  My native Scotland uses the ineffably feeble Flower of Scotland, worth at least 6 points to the opposition when it is sung before a rugby game at Murrayfield. It is a dirge and we need a cheerful marching song. The Americans have their splendid Battle Hymn of the Republic, with its poetic text. The Tsarist God save the Tsar was heady stuff too, but in a more contemporary style, I enjoy Oz’s I am, you are, we are Australian, composed in 1987 for that vigorously energetic country (below).

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rjkrjYitgeA

 

3.       As every day passes, we are reduced to digital bytes rather than sentient human beings. I read that credit card transactions will become even more complex by the introduction of a new level of identification, with the retailer requiring a code which will be imparted to the customer through his mobile phone. This ignores the fact that plenty of older folk do not  have mobile phones and that we oldies anyhow are rather slower to manipulate these gadgets. Even the youthful cannot react in nanoseconds, whatever the banks or credit card companies fondly dream. So, expect yet more queue congestion at the checkout! These measures are supposed to protect us from fraud – by God we need it!

 

4.       Years ago (1937 actually) John Betjeman, in his Slough, pithily warned us against brain-rot as we become more influenced by the media:

 

It’s not their fault they do not know

The birdsong from the radio,

It’s not their fault they often go

To Maidenhead

 

And talk of sports and makes of cars

In various bogus Tudor bars

And daren’t look up and see the stars

But belch instead.

 

Somewhere else in the poem he talks of “tinned minds, tinned breath”. How much truer is his piece now! We suffocate in the world of fake news and, since its woke opposition to Brexit, I no longer believe the snide BBC as readily as I once did. Truth is an absolute, there is no relativity involved: there is no such thing as Tory truth, Leftie truth, LibDem truth or Communist truth – although there are armies of “activists” dedicated to convince us otherwise.

Yet I too watch “bubble-gum TV”, the mindless pap served up in huge dollops day in day out. I confess to watching Tipping Point, Dancing on Ice and moronic films with Jason Statham or Matt Damon. Brain rot has set in and it is seldom leavened by a decent book or an uplifting drama. I know better but old age, apathy and idleness have me in their tentacles. I will not resort to the “bare bodkin” so I will set myself free. Forget about my various ailments, raise the cultural level drastically, brush up my Shakespeare, sharpen my epigrams and dump any reluctance to join the 21^st century! Sorry, readers, this has become a pep-talk from me to me!

 

5.       Watching Crufts dog show on TV, one cannot fail to be won over by the character of most dogs. In the past we had a Yorkie, an Elkhound and a Peke, all greatly loved and we currently share a Shih Tzu in Athens with my middle son. We are reluctant to have a dog in Britain as we are not able to walk him and groom him adequately or house him when we are away. But the absence of a dog leaves a big gap. The affection and fidelity you get from a well-behaved dog is wonderful. You feel safer and both of you revel in mutual companionship.

                                               

Flat coated retriever Baxer, Best in Show Crufts 2022

SMD. 15.03.22 Text Copyright © Sidney Donald 2022