THE NEW LABOURS OF HERCULES

One of the most enduring myths of the Ancient World describes the Labours of Hercules (Heracles to the Greeks) to atone for murdering his wife and children when under the spell of the goddess Hera. 

Hercules and the Hydra

The Labours he undertook (I just love lists!) were:

1.Slay the Nemean Lion. 
2. Slay the 9-headed Lernaean Hydra.
3.Capture the Golden Hind of Artemis.

      4. Capture the Erymanthian Boar.  
5. Clean the Augean Stables in one day. 
6. Slay the Stymphalian Birds. 
7.  Capture the Cretan Bull. 
8   Steal the Mares of Diomedes. 
9.Obtain the Girdle of Hippolyta, Queen of the Amazons. 
10. Obtain the Cattle of the monster Geryon
11.Steal the Apples of the Hesperides
12.Capture and bring back Cerberus.

These onerous Labours required immense strength, courage, cunning and decisiveness – well beyond the range of our milksop contemporary politicians. Nonetheless I wondered what great tasks currently await our existing “heroes”, whose qualities, such as they are, would be described as more conciliatory than muscular.  My 10-point wish-list is as follows:

1.       Reform the European Union. 

This contradictory Tower of Babel comprises a tasty gravy-train for the political elites of Europe, a kind of 28-headed Hydra, led by the ineffably dim Jean-Claude Juncker and is the darling of the wettest elements in the UK’s Foreign Office, the surplus-hoarding German finance ministries and the reactionary French farming lobby. Who will have the guts to underwrite the debts of the Eurozone countries (he/she can only be a German) to make the system work, manage their economies and amicably say farewell to the UK as it becomes a trading partner only, with some kind of associate status? Expect zero from sclerotic Brussels but maybe there is a magic-making Odin lurking somewhere in the Black Forest.

2.       Stop Sunni and Shia Muslims from murdering each other.

This saga has gone on much too long and disgraces already compromised Islam. The schism dates from 632 AD and a dispute over who should succeed Mohammed as caliph. 1382 years later, scores of people die in Syria and Iraq every week across the confessional divide. Every mosque, shrine, pilgrimage, local market and main road is a target for senseless bloodshed and mayhem. Negotiate a repartition of the Middle East if necessary into Sunni and Shia states (junking Sykes-Picot) but anyhow just stop the murder.

3.       Stop Muslims murdering everyone else.

This is separate from (2) above and is animated by an anti-infidel psychosis. Only a relatively small, but growing, Muslim minority is involved, egged on and financed by fanatical Saudi Wahabism. We have seen what damage Muslim jihadists can do at 9/11 in New York and Washington, in London and Madrid, by the various Talibans and their imitators. The West needs to defend itself energetically, with targeted surveillance of its native Muslim “community”, with draconian restrictions on entry and travel from these areas and vigorous support for secular regimes like Sisi’s in Egypt and for Kemalist traditions in Turkey. The Saudi double game should be exposed, subverted and punished heavily, even at the price of yet another “oil shock”. The West does not need “allies” of this stamp.

4.       Introduce effective gun control in the US.

It is a disgrace in a civilised society that young nut-cases can buy high-powered weaponry easily and mow down innocent students, school-mates and shoppers. Quite why this obvious problem has not been tackled by President and Congress dismays America’s many friends and if it truly offends the Constitution, an Amendment wants to be passed. Quickly.

5.       Eliminate corruption in Greece and Italy.

A huge Labour, beside which cleansing the Augean Stables was a dawdle. Be warned, corruption bubbles deep in the genes of Greeks and Italians, who much prefer it to honest dealing and for whom it is a hallowed tradition, not unlike the English love of roast beef and Yorkshire pudding.

6.       Review the British Constitution.

This famously unwritten document is getting frayed around its proverbial edges. Britain is still lumbered with a House of Lords partly recognising the hereditary principle, packed with anachronistic Anglican bishops, with patronage filling many vacancies and its democratic deficit is a gaping hole. A properly established senior chamber is long overdue. The institution of the hereditary monarchy is not currently disputed. Devolution has had some success but some at least of the ungrateful Scots want much more – to be decided in the 18.09.14 Referendum. Let’s hope the No vote wins!

7.       Bring Russia into the Western mainstream.

A natural member of the great powers until 1917, Russia alienated herself from the others with her aggressive Revolution and has been an uneasy member of the G8 since the 1990s. Rapid economic progress under Putin has raised her profile but her readiness to use her energy wealth as a political weapon arouses misgivings and her overtly interventionist policies in Ukraine brought back dark Hitlerian memories. Is there yet a civilised Russian Bear waiting to be encouraged and cherished?

8.       Cautiously adopt some environmentally friendly policies.

The opinions of scientists and environmentalists are notoriously volatile. While like everyone I wish to see the planet’s fauna and flora preserved, I am not a believer in imminent global warming and reckon drastic reductions in carbon emissions are economic suicide. Yet I see the point in reducing dependence on oil and favour investment in solar and new automotive technology. Changing what we eat may also be inevitable; breeding cattle who fatten with large inputs of grain, slaughtering them callously and eating their red meat which harms our health will seem a rather curious arrangement to future generations. Our heroes should nevertheless go warily in these areas.

9.       Root out ignorance in the sub-Continent.

We over-estimate the civic progress made in India, Pakistan and Bangladesh. Foul “honour killings”, casual murder, FGM, rape and the systematic abuse of women go unpunished and unacknowledged. Local politicians are in giggling denial. India boasts of its great democracy but it amounts to nothing if the defenceless half of the population are left without a champion. Where is the Indian leader to right these wrongs?

10.   Disseminate British values globally.

This final modern Labour should be a pleasure. Michael Gove wants British values to be taught in all British schools. How much better the world would be if they were taught globally – equality before the law, a modest patriotism, equality of opportunity, respect for fellow-citizens, religious tolerance, care for the weak and the aged and a firm defence of established rights. Further Labours of Hercules would not then be necessary!

SMD

20.06.14

Text Copyright © Sidney Donald 2014