GOOD EGGS

I declare from the start that I am inordinately fond of eggs, boiled, poached, fried, scrambled or folded into wonderful omelettes, believing them to be the most nutritious and delicious of foods; I consume them with gleeful enthusiasm. Yet in my curious household, I am in a minority of one. My dear wife claims she cannot abide the smell of boiling eggs; two of my charming sons hardly ever touch them in any form while a third falls into a theatrical faint at the very mention of these splendid comestibles. So if I eat an egg at home I have to do so surreptitiously, as if I were indulging in some solitary vice. I might understand if we were talking about drinking camel’s milk, devouring haggis or chewing barbecued platypus, but eating an innocent egg?  Oh, Gordon Bennett! Do me a favour!

Boiled eggs and toasted soldiers

Fried eggs and bacon

                               

 Allow me a brief paean of praise on eggs. What is more tempting than two soft 2-minute boiled eggs (OK, three would be even better) with toasted soldiers dipped in their yolky goodness: or fried eggs, sunny side up, surrounded by crispy bacon, mushrooms, sausage and for special occasions, black pudding? Need I expatiate upon the wonders of scrambled eggs – my talented mother made them light and buttery: or delicate poached eggs, when the stomach craves something undemanding? The restaurant world (the New York Waldorf-Astoria no less) invented Eggs Benedict at the turn of the last century combining poached eggs, bacon, muffins and hollandaise sauce: there are a hundred variations on this delightful dish. Omelettes are of French origin and there are cooked to sans rival perfection: Spanish vegetable omelettes are terrific too and one of my favourites is Omelette Arnold Bennett featuring Finnan haddock, the invention of London’s Savoy Hotel Grill and named after its novelist instigator. What delicious foods!

When I was a young man, the Egg Marketing Board urged us to “Go to Work on an Egg” – excellent advice in my view, encouraging us to set ourselves up with at least one egg a day and a generation did just that. Yet eggs have been under sustained bombardment for some years. We are told by the usual “experts” that eggs are heavy in damaging cholesterol, clogging up our arteries and shortening our otherwise happy lives. In fact the amount of cholesterol ingested via eggs is infinitesimal.  The unmissed Tory Mata Hari, Edwina Currie, informed us, when a Health Minister in 1988, that all UK eggs are contaminated with the harmful bug salmonella. This was a travesty of the truth and she soon resigned, but the damage had been done. Eggs do harbour salmonella but this element disappears if the eggs are cooked. Only the benighted or the heavily hung-over eat raw eggs, a tiny minority. Concern about poultry animal rights in battery hen-coops is probably well founded but the change to free-range production is quickly solving that issue and egg consumption is not affected. In short, forget about health scares, eggs are as safe as houses.

Egg consumption globally is increasing every year. The largest per capita consumption in the world is in Mexico but much the largest overall consumer is China, with Japan in second spot. The Chinese do not yet sit down to a plate of ham and eggs, but they are huge consumers of pasta and noodles, both of which require eggs. A busy laying hen will produce 300 eggs per year and there are millions of them. The US is a very large egg producer and consumer too but its rather over-zealous health concerns make it wash and disinfect eggs before sale, not much helping the taste. Countries have distinctive egg colour preferences – Europe liking brown eggs while Brazil will only eat white ones.

Easter is not too far away and eating large quantities of hard-boiled eggs is one of its many pleasures. This year I will be in London for the Western Easter on 31 March and in Athens for the Orthodox Easter on 5 May, so I will have double egg rations – yummy! In Greece Easter eggs are always dyed red and you crack them with a partner for good luck. Years ago King Constantine, as Commander in Chief, always held an Easter Sunday parade and, instead of presenting arms, his soldiers presented eggs which His Majesty genially cracked. As a child I rolled boiled eggs down a hill at Easter and imagine this carefree custom lingers on in Britain.

Red hard-boiled Easter eggs

As an egg aficionado, I wholly approve of the expression “A Good Egg” to describe someone thoroughly reliable and pleasant. It is not used for the dynamic or the ultra-successful but for solid pillars of the community. It is an epithet to which I happily aspire.

SMD

10.03.13

Text Copyright © Sidney Donald 2013